Friendship

It took me a while to learn the difference between people that know a lot about you and people that know you for who you are. I've only really known people that fall into the first category, at least until I got to SFA.

It's weird, having people that you've only just met understand you better than people that you've known for years. It's a supremely disconcerting feeling, but a nice one just the same. Sort of like being on a roller coaster. You actually enjoy the out-of-control feelings because you know you're safe, despite what the rest of your mind is saying.

I've met people that have changed me for the better. Whitney, for example. She's taught me patience and the value of true friendship. Sometimes, friendship isn't just about helping someone up. Sometimes, it's sitting down right beside them and just chilling for a while. I meant that figuratively, not literally. Those of you that know her probably took it too literally... Regardless of that, she's also taught me that real friends accept who you are. They don't threaten to tell your secrets or make you the object of jokes too often. They don't criticize you either, unless you need to hear it.

They're also there for you regardless of what they have going on. They don't use you when they need you and forget you when they don't. If it's the middle of the night and you're worried about something, they'll meet you in their pajamas and talk you through it. They don't judge. They just explain your problem in a way that makes you see that you'll get through it and conquer in the end. They protect you, from the world and from yourself. They don't make it a point to harass you for the flaws that you have or the vices they wish you did.

They actually want to know what's wrong when they ask. If you try to lie and change the subject, they won't let it happen. If you really don't want to talk, they reiterate that they're there for you and show you that they mean it.

They also confide in you and show you that they trust you. Their stories may be just stories sometimes, just a fun little braggart's tale for amusement, but they will tell you what bothers them when you ask. They will tell you their own troubles to help you understand yours or find a solution to your own problem. They don't make the conversation about them when you need help.

I've been thinking about the friends I have recently, the ones that are at my side and the ones that aren't. I love you all dearly, especially the ones that I've written about in this blog. To those of you that I will get to see today, thank you for making me smile and giving me a reason to like who I am and where I'm at. To those of you that I can't sit down with tonight, thank you for being the hugs I'm looking forward to and the smile I'm anxious to see again.