Strike Two

Yeah. Dishing a little more dirt out on the wonderful and eternal internet. I'm starting to realize that I'm truly to a point where I don't care what anyone thinks of me. The only people that truly matter are my family, very close friends, and future employers. My family knows, my friends understand, and my employers will hopefully see the attempts at professionalism exhibited here and will come to understand.

However, none of that matters right now. I'm here for a reason and I may as well get to the point quickly. I'll start with the problems from my end before I start pointing fingers so that you can see that I'm trying to be fair. I didn't call but once. But you only called after I sent you a message. I was leaving the space for you to make the first move, and you didn't. I thought this was going to be a give-and-take kind of thing. Not a 'Let Jordan Make All The Moves'. You should know by now that I have no self-esteem. I want to be wanted. I want you to want to have me in your life, but I don't need it. I want us to be okay and have a healthy relationship. It's looking like it may just be easier for both of us to stop trying, if indeed we were trying in the first place, and just put this behind us so we can move on with our lives.

This time, my eyes are dry. I have enough support in my life without needing your approval, and I've gotten this far without it. I'd love to have you in my life the way you're supposed to be, but I'm so sick of this. I've been wondering when you're going to call. But I should have figured... I mean, with the way things have been, one phone call in the middle of the night was going to fix thirteen years of dysfunction? Let's get real. Maybe I'm just being cynical, but I'm getting tired. I'm tired of wanting you to want to be in my life. I can resign myself to the fact that you don't. Like I said before, I have plenty of people that can cover for you in some way or another. Some already do without noticing it. And it should be easy for you to find someone to stand in for me, shouldn't it?

Anyway, I just had to get this out. Granted, we only played through the first few moves of this game, but I'm tired already. We'll say that you win.